I thought I should just give an update on where I stand with ending my Essential Tremor medication. It has been two or three weeks since I stopped my medication. I have noticed my tremors getting worse in my hands, and I’ve noticed the tremor in my head, although it is not noticeable all of the time. So far, my ET has not been as severe as I was imagining it would be, although I should knock on wood because it could still get worse. If this is as bad as it will get, that would be great. I’ve had to adjust the way I do some things though.
At home, I will eat just about anything, but, when I pack my lunch for work, I am more particular about what I will eat in public. I usually pack a sandwich (something I can pick up) or chicken and vegetables or salad (something I can stab with a fork). I am not as comfortable with foods that require scooping something that will roll off of a fork or spoon like soup, rice, and peas. This is just in public though. At home, when I make my morning tea, I use a bigger mug and only fill it half or three-quarters full. I decided this after spilling my tea on my living room rug trying to carry it across the room. I also do the same with other beverages and sometimes I even use a straw. I have a water bottle that I bring to work with me that has a straw so I don’t have to worry about spilling it. My husband, Travis, has been kind enough to cut my meat for me without me even asking him to. I did cut my finger today when I was cutting apples to make apple pie, but a pie that delicious requires a sacrifice.
I was actually expecting to have a lot more trouble with my ET. I was in high school when I started the medication so my memories of my tremors at their worst come from a normally stressful time. Stress is a very big trigger for tremors, and when I was in high school I had a lot of anxiety. I was nervous and shy, and it was hard being a teenage girl with glasses and braces. So when I think of what my tremors are really like, I am picturing high school, eating my sandwich in a bathroom stall where no one can see me shake. I’ve come to realize though that I am not the same person that I was back then, and it consequently benefits my tremors. It seems as if my personality has changed since I was in high school. I am not as shy as I was, and there is very little that stresses me out any more. In fact, I am a really calm person now. This seems to be working in my favor. Someone used the word ‘confident’ to describe me the other day, and she has no idea how happy that made me. Just a couple of years ago, that would have been the absolutely LAST word I would have ever used to describe myself.
Sometimes I think to myself, “I can’t fill this bowl with soup without spilling it,” or “I’m going to shake a lot trying to eat this.” Then I tell myself, “Take a deep breathe and just do it. No one will care if you shake.” And I take that breathe, and just do it. It always works just fine.